Episode 108: Ants in the Pants, A Revealing Stance, Concern-Inspired Rants and Foolhardy Defiance

Steel Bolt was antsy when he arrived at stately Bolt Manor.  This being only the second day of his drinking career, he wasn’t exactly sure what drunk people do.  He stumbled around the house for awhile, taking huge slugs from his bottle of champagne (not even knowing enough to be put off by its warmth). 

Both Norbert and Viveka turned with alarm when he burst into her atelier.  She was behind her easel while Norbert stood posed on a pedestal in the middle of the room.  

“So this is what you two do when I’m not around.  You know, I always wondered—Jee-sus!  Look at the schlong on you!  That’s almost as big as Daedalus’s!  Viv, did you know Daedalus had a huge cock?  It was—I mean, it is absolutely fuckin’ massive.  As big as my arm.”  In an effort to illustrate his brother’s girth, Steel positioned his elbow such that his forearm appeared to emerge from his groin.  Then he turned back to Norbert: “I’ve always felt a little short-changed in that department, if you know what I mean.”  He looked between Norbert’s knees again: “No, I guess you wouldn’t.”

Norbert slipped into his robe and shot Viv a look of concern.  

“What the fuck was that?” Steel shouted.  “What was that look?  It was like … condescending.  You asshole.  I let you live here at studly Bolt Manor and that’s the thanks I get?  Come down here, you ungrateful bastard!”  Steel staggered threateningly toward Norbert.

His advance was halted by Viv: “Steel, what are you doing?” 

He whirled to face his sister.  “What am I doing?  Oh yes, I came home early to celebrate with you, my loving family, the good fortune that has recently betaken, I mean, befallen me.”

“Oh Steel—”

“Oh, shut up” he groaned.  “I know what you’re thinking and it’s not a big deal.  Last night I was under the impression I was going to jail for a series of murders I did not complete, I mean, commit and I thought my business was going bankrupt.  Today I find out neither of those things are going to happen.  I think I deserve a little celebration.”

“Look at yourself, Steel, even you don’t believe that.  You’re already in trouble and you know it.”

“Bullshit,” he countered dismissively.

“It’s not bullshit.  You started drinking less than 24 hours ago, and yet all you’ve been able to think about since is your next drink.  I’ve been there, I know.”

You may have been there, but I can handle myself.”

She ignored him; “I also know what it’s like to get healthy.  It’s the best feeling in the world.  But you can’t do it yourself, Steel, you need help.  You need a person in your corner who’s willing to do whatever it takes to see you get sober.  Steel, I will be that person for you.  Norbert and I will be that person for you, because we love you and we want to see you well again.  The sooner we do it, the easier it’ll be.”  She walked over and grasped the bottle of champagne.  “Come on, Steel, what do you say?”  She made a gentle attempt at tugging the bottle from his grasp. 

Steel looked at her with uncertainty for a moment.  Then he yanked the bottle away and took a huge, defiant swig.  “What do I say?  I say you were a fuck of a lot more fun back when you used to drink.”  And then he left the room.

Continue Reading: Episode 109: Images That Are Rending of Steel Bolt Descending, Part 1