Episode 109: Images That Are Rending Of Steel Bolt Descending Part 1

Steel Bolt looked at himself in the mirror as he shaved.  Something’s different, he thought.  He took a step back and realized what.  Jesus Christ, my nose is pink.

He shrugged and sang, “Steel Bolt, the red-nosed, drains beer.”  Then he finished his can of beer, for that is what he drinks in the morning.


The second Beth Breath opened the door to Steel’s office, she knew it was worse than she could’ve imagined.  

After weeks of cajoling, she’d finally convinced Dixon Cider (one of Bolt Fasteners oldest clients, before she took her business to Hard Hinges) to come in for a meeting with Steel.  

He was drunk.

“Ms Cider here to see you, sir.”

Steel waved the smartly-dressed woman in, then silently regarded her with one eye closed, the other barely open.  

Beth stayed in the doorway, fearful of what might happen.  

Steel grabbed his waste-paper basket and vomited into it.


“Why does it always have to be about me?  Huh?  I’ve been drinking for a couple of months.  You drank for over 20 years.  But suddenly, because you quit, it’s all about me.  It’s not fair.  Why don’t we talk about you for a while, huh?  Why don’t we talk about the fact that you fucked your son!  And that now you’re fucking his half-brother.  And that you fucked your current boyfriend’s father when you were like 15.  Or how about the fact you fucked your step-son, the goddamn stable-boy.  Huh?  It seems the only man you didn’t fuck is the one you were legally married to.  Why the fuck don’t we talk about that for awhile?”

Viveka ran from the room crying.  

Steel felt good about himself, like he’d won something.


“Come on, just one more.”

“I told you, we’re closed.”

“Who cares?  When my brother used to come here you’d serve him ‘til the fuckin’ sun came up.”

“You’re not your brother.”

“You fucker!  What’s your name?”


“You’re going to regret this Isaac.  I am a multi-millionaire,” Steel said indignantly.  “I am a muti-millionaire and I shall buy this place and have it torn down.  What do you think of that?”

“Go ahead.  But right now you have to leave.”

“Goddamn fucker.”


“License and registration, please.”

“What for?”

“I pulled you over, sir, because you were driving erratically.”

Steel looked at the officer closely, sure that he’d seen him before.  Suddenly it came to him.  “Constable Cat Killer, how the hell are you?”

Officer Greg Arias swallowed self-consciously.  “Please sir, your license and registration.”

“Meow, meow, meow.”

“Sir, I have reason to believe you are operating a motorized vehicle while under the influence of alcohol.  Would you please step out of the vehicle and submit to a breath analysis?”


“It is within your rights to refuse this test; however, failure to provide a breath sample is tantamount to an admission of guilt.”

“Meow,” Steel giggled, impressed at his own wit.

Continue Reading: Episode 110: Images That Are Rending Of Steel Bolt Descending Part 2