A Tale for the Modern Attention Span
“...So in summation, your Honour, I am a man of some prominence in this community who made a mistake—a mistake for which I am profoundly sorry. Since punishing me further would be a great detriment to my reputation and my ability to run my company—a company that is invaluable to the entire community, I might add—may I suggest that we leave this whole ugly matter behind us.”
“Mr. Bolt, your words are well-spoken, and convey much logic and contrition. However, they’d be a lot easier to believe if you weren’t drunk right now! License suspended for three years.”
“He wants all six of us to go back to a motel room with him? That’s kinda creepy.”
“Don’t worry about it. He’ll be awake just long enough to give each of us our two hundred bucks, then he’ll pass out.”
“Are you sure?”
“Trust me. Gina and I have gone back there with him like five times in the past two weeks!”
Steel Bolt: Passed out in the fetal position on a motel room bed while six strippers giggle and smoke and drink his champagne, beer and Scotch around him. One has the audacity to root through his pockets.
“Please Steel,” Viv pleads, “I’ve never asked you for anything, but I beg you, do this one thing for me: Please Steel, go see the doctor.”
Steel, tired of listening to her, says, “Alright.”
“Now Mr. Bolt, vat ve muzt do is twy to underztand ze woot of your dwinking pwoblem.”
“Excuse me, Dr. Schadenfreude, is it true this will only work if I really want to quit drinking?”
“Certainly zee likelihood of success iz incweased by zee patient’s desire to halt zee harmful behavior.”
“See ya later.”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Bolt, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
“The other customers are complaining about your behaviour.”
“What about it?”
“Well, Mrs. Primrose didn’t appreciate your, ahem, flatulence.”
“You tried to create what I believe is known in frat houses as a ‘blue flame’ with her Cerise Flambe,” Guy Laflamme said in a low voice.
“Sir, this is not a party. It is a public restaurant and you are offending the public. Would you please leave?” Guy asked imploringly.
“Yeah I’ll leave. And I’ll never come back! Don’t you forget,” Steel shouted for everyone to hear, “if it weren’t for me this restaurant and every other one in town would’ve gone outta business a long fuckin’ time ago!”
He weaved unsteadily among the tables as he made his way to the door.
Just before he passed out, as he does every night, Steel thought, I have the evidence. All I have to do is go to the police. I’ll go tomorrow. Before I start drinking. I’ll do it tomorrow, for sure.
Continue Reading: Episode 111: Images That Are Rending Of Steel Bolt Descending Part 3