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Episode 4: Beth Breath (Sigh)

Steel Bolt’s day had already been fraught with drama, yet he still managed to pull into the Bolt Fasteners parking lot before 7:30 a.m.  While walking to the main entrance of the office portion of the complex, he took the time (as he does every day) to look at the sign out front and admire the bright red letters and to thank his father (wherever he was) for giving him this gift he cherishes so much.

Steel stepped out of the elevator into the reception area of his office.  Seated at her desk was his loyal assistant Beth Breath.  No matter when Steel arrives at work, even on days when he comes in at preposterous times like 4:00 or 5:00 a.m., Beth Breath is always at her desk, ready to greet him with a cheerful “Good morning, Mr. Bolt.”

“Good morning, Miss Breath.  How are you today?”

“I’m fine.  And you?”

“I’m excited.  Looks like today might be the day we finally nail down that elusive Japanese contract.”

“The papers are waiting for you on your desk.”

“Thank you.  I knew they would be.”

As her boss walked into his office, Beth fought the compulsion to sigh.  

Were Beth Breath a Shakespearian character, her tragic flaw would be that she loves Steel Bolt.  It’s tragic because such a desirable, eligible woman should not be wasting her life pining for a man she will never have.

Beth and Steel are the same age.  In fact, they went to high school together and she loved him even then.  Unfortunately for her, as a teenager Steel Bolt was convinced that some day he would meet the girl he was going to marry and when he did, he’d know it.  He saw no point, therefore, in engaging in frivolous dalliances.  When he met Beth Breath, she was instantaneously classified, along with every other woman he’d encountered to that point, in the category “Women I Know Who I’m Never Going to Marry.”   

Beth Breath was Homecoming Queen at Crescendo Cove High School in her senior year—and could have won the title every year since, if they’d only relax the entrance requirements a little.  She has straight blond hair, as fine as spiders’ webs, and skin smooth and soft like a freshly-peeled hard-boiled egg (though it smells infinitely better).  The shimmering blue of her eyes complements the red of her thick lips and her radiant white teeth.  She is slightly above medium height, yet her taut legs seem to go on forever.  The buttocks from which they emerge are round and perky.

All of these qualities make a Beth Breath a stunning woman, but chances are you wouldn’t notice any of them if you saw her.  Simply put, Beth’s breasts defy gravity and reproach.  They are ample, to be sure, but what is more eye-catching than their size is their fullness, their impeccable roundness, their vivaciousness.  Beth is not ignorant of her assets.  In fact, it would be fair to say that she dresses to show off her breasts.  Not in a vulgar or ostentatious way, mind you (she rarely shows cleavage); instead she wears simple, classy outfits that accentuate the curve and swell of her bust.  

On more than one occasion Steel Bolt has been heard to say, “I would never have accomplished all that I have were it not for Beth Breath’s breasts,” (although he can’t say it three times fast [go ahead and try]).  When people come in to meet with him, Beth Breath is always at her desk.  And she invariably rises to greet the visitor with a friendly “Hello” and a soft handshake, bringing her all-natural breasts with her, obviously.  Whoever it is, man or woman, that then passes into Steel Bolt’s office, finds his or her thoughts muddled.  Is it possible those are real? they wonder.  Preoccupied people are easy targets for Steel Bolt. 

Beth Breath also happened to be one of the best students at Crescendo Cove High.  After graduating, she went to a fine college for her undergrad and then to Harvard for an MBA.  It was at this point that Steel Bolt hired her to be his executive assistant.  Of course, anyone who knows anything about Bolt Fasteners knows the title is a lark.  Beth Breath is no mere assistant.  She’s the second most powerful employee at Bolt Fasteners and the second highest-paid as well.  She is the only person Steel Bolt trusts with his secrets, and he consults her on most major decisions.

But for all her oblique power, Beth Breath is not happy.  Eight, ten, twelve hours a day she toils, all the while praying that this will be the day Steel Bolt emerges from his office, notes her intelligence, beauty, charm, sophistication, sense of humour and loyalty, and finally shifts her into the category “Women I Know Who I Am Going to Marry.”

Continue reading: Episode 5: The Rigid Nature of Steel