A Tale for the Modern Attention Span
For the past month, ever since Charity Hope stumbled (quite literally) into Steel Bolt’s life, the two of them have been out for dinner every night. Afterwards they go to whatever social function Steel has deemed worthy of his presence. It’s odd that that distinction is made so liberally nowadays. Before Charity, Steel refused almost every invitation. Now he’s out all the time, displaying his girlfriend so proudly you’d think he created her himself.
In many respects he has. As Guy Laflamme is quick to point out, in that entire month Charity’s petite body has not been covered by the same dress twice. (Guy Laflamme is the most able commentator on the new couple, since he seems to work at every restaurant in Crescendo Cove.)
Steel’s motivation has never been questioned; anyone can tell by the gobsmacked look on his face that he’s in love.
Her motives, on the other hand, are the subject of much conjecture amongst the Crescendo Cove cognoscenti. “She’s after his money. She may pretend to be sweet and innocent, but she knows a good score when she sees it,” is one school of thought.
Others, less cynical others, have raised the possibility that she truly loves him: “He’s a handsome man, he’s wealthy; it only stands to reason she would be bowled over by him.”
Guy Laflamme, however, has a unique opinion of young Miss Hope’s mindset: “Now it may be the blush of love on his face, but that’s some serious lust on hers.”
And he’s correct. Charity Hope would never admit this to anyone, but there are three reasons why she left that convent before taking her final vows: sex, sex and hot sex.
Poor Charity: even cloistered in a nunnery with fifty sagging, middle-aged women, all she could think about were boys and sex. And although she prayed continually to God for release from this obsession, every night, after the air was thick with the snores of her fellow Sisters, her hands would invariably hike up her cassock and find that special place.
It’s no mystery where this compulsion came from. Some of Charity’s earliest memories are of her parents shooing her away for five or ten minutes—regardless of where they were or what they were doing—because they wanted to be alone. Often, little Charity would sneak back to watch. She’d wonder why Daddy throwing himself on top of Mommy caused them to moan and thrash about so.
She was with them in Africa when they died. The three of them were trekking across some grasslands, toward a village in which they were to do missionary work, when Mommy suggested Charity go look at the pretty plants by the watering hole. Charity knew it was trouble when she wandered back and saw a fully aroused elephant trying to usurp Daddy’s position between Mommy’s legs. Charity watched with fascination—rather than horror—as the elephant eventually squashed them both. Oddly, instead of scarring her, or at least scaring her away from sex, this incident only sharpened her interest in all things carnal.
And now Charity Hope is on the verge of her first sexual relationship. She’s ready, bursting actually, and has tried to initiate it on several occasions, but alas, Steel refuses to put out. He's told her that, out of respect for her religious beliefs, there will be no sexual intercourse before marriage.
Poor Charity was beginning to worry her fingers might get stuck in her happy place (since they’re up there so much--now that they can be with impunity), when one night Steel surprised her...
Continue reading: Episode 28: Impatience Pays Off