A Tale for the Modern Attention Span
Steel Bolt and Charity Hope had just returned to stately Bolt Manor after yet another sumptuous meal. They were exchanging kisses in the drawing room when Steel broke away and said, “Charity, honey, there’s something I want to ask you.”
This particular make-out session had lasted longer than any other, so Charity felt encouraged. She fumbled with Steel’s belt.
“Honey, could you stop for a moment?”
Belt undone, she went to work on his pants. She knew it was in there. She didn’t know exactly what it was, but she knew it was in there.
“Darling please,” Steel said imploringly.
She ignored him, thrilled that she’d discovered the fastening mechanism on the pants was a button, not a snap.
Finally he grabbed her little hands.
“What?” she asked, annoyed at being thwarted.
“Honey, there’s something I want to discuss with you.”
“Oh.” She could tell by the tone of his voice that she wasn’t going to get any further until she’d humoured him by listening.
“Now, I hope I’m not taking things too fast, but Charity these last four weeks with you have been some of the happiest of my life. And although I’ve not told you this before, I want you to know that I love you. Charity, I can’t remember my life before you and I certainly can’t envision a future without you. I know we’ve never talked about this before, but I’m fairly certain you feel the same way. Charity, honey, listen please.”
She had been listening but then, like a precocious child, upon devising a new strategy for the button on his pants, she tried to implement it immediately.
Steel moved her hands again. “Yes, your desire to share that most precious gift with me is just one thing that leads me to believe you love me too. But you understand why we can’t. I have too much respect for your religious beliefs—honey, please stop touching me there. Where was I? Oh yes, and I have issues concerning the memory of my dead, I mean, my first wife. But now that she’s a different person and she’s involved with my brother, I no longer see why that should be an impediment. I've checked with my lawyers and they tell me that since she was gone for over two years, I am no longer legally bound to her. Darling Charity, what I’m trying to say is: will you marry me? Tonight? Like madcaps? It’s all been arranged. Say you’ll join me in this wild adventure. Charity, marry me now!” Steel exclaimed.
Without skipping a beat, Charity looked into his eyes and asked, “Will we be able to do it if we get married tonight?”
And so they were wed, with the Reverend Les Izzmore presiding and Consuela and Manuel acting as witnesses.
After it was over, as Charity was pulling Steel toward what would be their matrimonial bed, across town a chill gripped the spine of Beth Breath.
Continue reading: Episode 29: The Quickest Shot in Crescendo Cove